Upwardly Dependent » walking the delicate balance of absolute truth and overwhelming grace.

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Ladies: Marry a Man who Prays

I dated a lot in high school. Actually, a lot is an understatement. There was a running joke in my family about how long this one would last. And if I went on more than one date with the same boy, people said, Wow, Lauren, this is getting serious!

Those poor guys. I was nothing but a hot mess.

Everything changed one night in college, though. I went to a campus devotional and heard the most beautiful interchange with the Lord that had ever graced my ears.

The prayer that came from the lips of this man was different. It wasn’t just Thees and Thous. There weren’t formal words that felt forced and stiff. It was a conversation between the Almighty God and His very humble servant.

I can’t tell you anything particular he said, but that single prayer changed my life.

The next day, I went to my boyfriend’s apartment and ended yet another relationship. For some reason, he asked, If you weren’t dating me, who would you date?

Funny question.

I would date Gavin Pinkston. The words slipped out of my mouth before I realized how blatantly offensive it was to already have someone else in mind. Much less to tell the person you’re breaking up with the exact name of that person.

I won’t go into the saga of how I strategically manipulated my now husband to have an interest in me. It’s a little more than shameful how I ironically started showing up in all the places I knew he would be.

But once I heard a man pray like I heard him pray, my eyes were opened to the possibility of being married to a man who loved God more than me.

I wanted that.

For the first time, I wasn’t dragging someone along with me in my faith. For the first time, I was being made stronger by a spiritual leader that I could trust.

+++

When we had been dating for about six months, I saw that I was in a relationship I might want to last forever. And then I freaked because I realized that I had only let him see the good things about me.

You know what comes next.

The awful tell him everything I’ve ever done so that he doesn’t fall in love with a fake. And that would include all those sweet little boyfriends from high school.

I’ll never forget the night that I shared my darkest, hidden secrets with the man I respected more than anyone I’d ever known. He listened, held my hand, and tears filled his eyes. I felt like I had crucified Jesus right then and there.

We were spending the weekend with his parents, so we went to our separate rooms and I lay there wondering when the breakup would come.

But when I woke up the next morning and walked down the hall, I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I took a few more steps, and saw the man of my dreams – on his knees in prayer – about me.

The image will forever be burned into my mind, and the grace that was extended to me in that moment built a foundation in our relationship that’s unmoving.

————–

The whole submit to your husband thing has never been a huge challenge in my marriage. And I’m the most assertive, opinionated, have-it-my-way person there is.

I honestly attribute the beauty of my marriage to the fact that my husband talks to God. I know that he would never ask anything of me that he hasn’t spoken to the Lord about.

We share the same vision and goals for our family because we talk to God about them. When we can’t find the words to comfort one another, we go to our Maker to provide that peace.

Please don’t hear that we have a perfect marriage…does that exist, really?

I can be ready to explode about some marital dispute, but when I hear my husband bring it before God, it seems so unimportant and silly.

He has had his ups and downs. I’m sure he doesn’t feel like a spiritual giant every day, and there are times he needs me to step in and provide a place of strength and encouragement.

But my husband has never forgotten how to pray. Even after 120-hour work weeks or sleepless nights with an infant, he can always approach the Throne with readiness.

I had no idea that pursuing a man of prayer would be the best thing I could do for my marriage.

————–

As I stood brushing my teeth last night, I overheard my husband talking to my six month old baby girl. Eliza cooed and babbled da-da-da and he talked to her about an Old Testament story.

And when I heard him say, Let’s pray, I closed my eyes from the next room and breathed in the beauty of that moment.

How blessed I am to have a husband who knows my God in such an intimate way. How blessed I am to have a husband who prays.

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Comments

comments

Peggy Scott PoeJanuary 8, 2014 - 1:13 pm

Lauren, we met (again) at Wal-Mart in Columbia over Christmas. Thankful to have found your blog. I can tell you & your blog are going to be a blessing:) Sharing this one with my own Eliza.

Megan Belill PhelanJanuary 8, 2014 - 5:51 pm

Beautiful.

Tina HickmanJanuary 8, 2014 - 5:54 pm

Loved this! But Lauren one day I have to hear the story of how you captured Gavin! Love you :)

Lola-Margaret HallJanuary 8, 2014 - 6:18 pm

I love your honesty. It is the height of your beauty.

Konner Blake DukeJanuary 8, 2014 - 6:38 pm

I love you Lauren and this story!! (:

Cindy SidwellJanuary 8, 2014 - 7:07 pm

How blessed we are to have a Lord and Savior who knows what we need and when we need it. All of those sweet boys that came before may have been preparing us to look in this direction. Some just learn this lesson earlier than others. God bless you Lauren.

Sharon A. ShirleyJanuary 8, 2014 - 7:21 pm

Love it! Eliza is one blessed little girl to have you and Gavin for parents…. By the way, you should publish these.

Gina BurkeJanuary 8, 2014 - 7:22 pm

What a wonderful story! If only all young girl would seek a Godly man!

Deborah Brown WilsonJanuary 8, 2014 - 8:50 pm

WOW!!! Thank you for sharing such honest and convicting thoughts and insights from your heart. It would be so good if our young girls could ‘hear’ your story for their own sakes, as well as for the sakes of all with whom they interact throughout their lives.

Laura Beth LambJanuary 8, 2014 - 9:20 pm

Beautifully written!

Rosemarie DieckhoffJanuary 8, 2014 - 9:57 pm

Wow. What a. Wonderful story. Wish everyone could read this.

Minta RhodesJanuary 9, 2014 - 3:37 am

So glad Mrs. Cromer told me about your blogs. I am so proud of you Lauren. Priceless is all I can say. I will be praying for you on your new found journey. I pray for both my daughters that they find a man that prays. If they find that, then I know All is Well for them.

Kristen SteeleJanuary 9, 2014 - 3:49 am

I’m a single mama looking to date again and this post was amazing. I already was thinking along these lines, but your words truly hit me to my core. Thank you for sharing – I’m praying for a man of prayer… and I hope you’ll join me over at my blog sometime, http://www.graciouslyauthentic.com

Nancy BunchJanuary 9, 2014 - 4:29 am

Beautiful message ! I hope all the single girls read this !

Martina K. JuranekJanuary 9, 2014 - 5:45 am

Such a rarity! You are truly blessed! I read on the back of a van-which said “be a real man and get on your knees and pray! Whether man or woman or children. We all need to know our heavenly Father and go to Him daily!

Angie Larue AtkinsJanuary 9, 2014 - 7:30 am

What a beautiful story! If I had married a praying man, I would probably still be married! But neither of us were seeking God, so it was all a big mess! You can be such a wonderful witness to young ladies! I pray God blesses you and your family greatly!!

MandyJanuary 9, 2014 - 7:49 am

I’m 31 and a single mom of a 5 year old girl. It seems impossible. I haven’t dated in 5 1/2 years! It feels like God has forgotten about me (even though I know he hasn’t).

ChristynJanuary 9, 2014 - 9:42 am

This literally made me cry because I have been the girl that you once were. I have recently gotten my act together and have made a dedication to myself and to God that I would only date Him for a year (which I’m sure you can imagine has been very difficult). I still have six months to go and I have grown tremendously thus far. Although I attend a Christian college, majority of the guys seem to be playing the part instead of truly living in the light of Christ. I know that if it is God’s will for my life He will send the right man along when the time is right. In the meantime, I will continue to grow in my walk with God and wait for a man who prays! Thank you SO much for sharing – you may never know the blessing it was to me!

Andy FroilandJanuary 9, 2014 - 11:34 am

Thank you for the reminder of who I am, should be, am called to be! needed to read this today!

embra plunkJanuary 9, 2014 - 11:47 am

I am going to print this and add it to a file for my kids. I pray they both marry the person who will help them and their children go to heaven. Your words give me hope that they will, and encouragement to them to make it their purpose as well. I am so glad you found this Godly man and pray daily for your plans to continue serving Him. Thank you for sharing.

Rhonda Riddle PageJanuary 9, 2014 - 1:29 pm

Beautiful story!!!

Patsy MooreJanuary 9, 2014 - 2:34 pm

I am so proud of you! Love you:)

Haley Lauren MillsJanuary 9, 2014 - 3:52 pm

What a life-changing story! Thank you!!

Jenna HardenJanuary 9, 2014 - 3:56 pm

When Joey and I fell in love almost 26 years ago, I remember him confiding to me that he’d been praying for the Lord to bring him his one special person. It is SO important to marry a man who prays and to pray yourself. It DOES simplify things when you bring your prayers to the Throne of Grace. I feel so petty sometimes when I approach God with my concerns. Usually reduces me to giving some serious thanks instead. :) Thanks!

Ashley creswellJanuary 9, 2014 - 4:47 pm

Awesome! !!

Roberta PledgeJanuary 9, 2014 - 5:19 pm

Thank you, Lauren, for writing to our teenage girls and young women…they need to continually hear stories like this from beautiful women like you! I will definitely share this!! Love you

Angie HancockJanuary 9, 2014 - 5:40 pm

This is a beautifully written article! I pray that all girls who love God will let God lead them to the one He chooses for them–one who loves Him and prays. I chose one who did not and after 31 years of marriage, I am divorced because of his choice not to follow God. Young girls, please choose as God wants you to choose! God wants you to be happy!

Cassie Crabtree YawnJanuary 9, 2014 - 5:50 pm

Beautiful Story!!

Deborwah FaulkJanuary 9, 2014 - 7:08 pm

Yes.

Jennifer Johnston PriceJanuary 9, 2014 - 7:34 pm

Wow!! This brought tears!! I pray my daughter seeks a man such as your husband!!

Sihle Scarlett NgubeniJanuary 9, 2014 - 7:36 pm

Thank you for sharing.

LoriJanuary 9, 2014 - 7:36 pm

To say this was beautiful is an understatement. I wish every woman had this, including my two girls and hoping my 3 boys could be a man like this. <3
Thank you for sharing.

Nikki WilsonJanuary 9, 2014 - 10:58 pm

Lauren God has given you a powerful talent for words. Praise God!

Jackie PittsJanuary 10, 2014 - 12:17 am

Loved your story. Thank you for sharing. You and Gavin are such wonderful Christian examples. Thank you.

Rachel HarrisJanuary 10, 2014 - 2:31 am

Inspiration that god always had a plan! No matter what you have been through!

Nicole ParkerJanuary 10, 2014 - 2:45 am

This is absolutely beautiful!

Maci GilleonJanuary 10, 2014 - 3:43 am

I love this! Waiting on God’s timing to send me a husband that Prays :)

Debby HornburgJanuary 10, 2014 - 12:43 pm

My husband met me at a time when I was determined never to marry again. He was 8 years divorced, and had been praying to meet a woman. He had three specific requests of God. One day, we had a casual conversation at our worksite. During the course of that brief exchange, he realized that I had the three things that were so important to him. He was so shocked he just turned and walked away. In prayinging later, he became convinced that we were to marry. I am certainly glad that he never told me this, at least not right away. But before it was done, I had my own God-moment. We did marry. It has not always been easy, but it has been 16 years now. He is a good man. No matter what is going on in our lives, we know that facing it together is God’s will for us. We have no desire to argue with God.

Lana CaseyJanuary 10, 2014 - 12:51 pm

As I said before this was awesome. Everyone child should be raised this way. Beautiful message.

Mary GradyJanuary 10, 2014 - 1:12 pm

Maybe your husband should do the same thing for young men that you are doing for young women. Write about his journey and how is faith has gotten him to where he is and who he is with.

Lina M. TamimiJanuary 10, 2014 - 1:28 pm

I absolutely love this!! I believe if a man is so busy yet praying to God is never excluded from his day, that’s a man who knows how to treat God’s gifts right.

MelissaJanuary 10, 2014 - 1:59 pm

Thank you so much for sharing this! It speaks right to my heart and I will keep it very near and dear ❤️

Courtney FuhrmanJanuary 10, 2014 - 6:28 pm

This is kind of funny because I never dated in high school and my families joke was the complete opposite of yours. My family says “will you ever find anyone?” I am a 19 year old Godly young women and I am waiting patiently for my man who prays. It’s been a long time since I’ve met a Godly man close to my age, who is looking for a long term relationship. I may be young but I’ve never wanted a relationship just for fun, I’ve always been waiting for my prince and I God has him stowed away somewhere just waiting for the perfect time in mine and his life. This blog has given me hope to keep waiting and praying for him. One day I’ll be able to blog our story, but until then thank you for blogging yours

Chantel M. CarusoneJanuary 10, 2014 - 7:27 pm

This is beautiful! Thank you so much for sharing your story… I lead our young girls’ group at my church & these are the types of things I am always striving to teach them! I will definitely be sharing this with them! :)

Connie LewisJanuary 10, 2014 - 7:46 pm

Aww its so perfect! A reminder of why we should wait for who God has prepared for us is always a good thing and definitely want to marry someone who’s in love with God more than he would ever love me. Someone I can pray with and who will pray for me.

TaraJanuary 10, 2014 - 10:32 pm

LOVE this… beautiful! Sharing with my 18 year old daughter! I pray she will find a praying man of God!! :)

Sophia GarciaJanuary 10, 2014 - 10:41 pm

I love this! I want this kind of husband when I get married! That has such a close realatinship with the lord!!

Soletia OwensJanuary 10, 2014 - 11:33 pm

Unbelievable blessed are you!!! I can only imagine that my future husband loves God and trust him in everything. I love God with all my might and I pray my husband will love him as well. Beautiful story, very touching!!!

Olivia ArchambaultJanuary 11, 2014 - 12:30 am

I knew I would marry my Adam on our first date. It was the first date that offered thanks before our meal…

Jessica FoltzJanuary 11, 2014 - 4:50 am

Marriage is about equality. The very next verse says “likewise husbands submit to your wives.” I will never understand why women subject themselves to something so absurd.

Ronda Lane IngramJanuary 11, 2014 - 9:02 am

What a Blessing. I pray men will step up and take this role. Woman will allow God to speak to them.

Nate WebsterJanuary 11, 2014 - 2:32 pm

Amazing! Even as a 34 year old man who has yet to marry, I pray to be half the man that your husband is. This is an amazing story. God Bless.

Judy WarnerJanuary 11, 2014 - 4:42 pm

Kirsten, Papa prayed on our first date. It was a blind date and I knew nothing about him except that he was a Christian and our mutual friends liked him. Hearing him pray settled my mind. We married a year later.

JacquiJanuary 11, 2014 - 6:07 pm

Thank you.

Maria MattaJanuary 11, 2014 - 6:08 pm

The dating a lot in high school situation sounds like mine. It seems almost impossible though to find a man like that as well as unfair. I don’t pray a lot or actually not at all sometimes. It seems unfair that I put the spiritual burden on him, if there is even a him.

Jacque HarmsJanuary 11, 2014 - 8:23 pm

If there is one article to read on Facebook, it is this.

Trudi Ogborn BattJanuary 11, 2014 - 11:46 pm

I know with out a dought that my husband loves The Lord but I always feel I have to lead, I guess I need to pray about that!

Collette MorelandJanuary 12, 2014 - 3:10 am

How beautiful ……it’s what we all should look for.

Barbara HooperJanuary 12, 2014 - 7:39 am

Beautiful

DianaJanuary 12, 2014 - 1:19 pm

Found your blog through my daughter, Lyndsee. I totally agree. I wish every young girl & boy knew their own worth. Too many children are giving up the one thing they can never get back and don’t realize that they are making decisions they will probably regret down the road. I wish every young person (& their parents) put God first and prayed for their child’s future mate. I will be celebrating 25 wonderful years with my husband this year…as he used to tell our daughter ‘I only hope that you will find someone that loves you as much as I love your mother’. Twenty-five years ago I didn’t know a man like that existed, we need to let our daughters know that indeed they do. Now, we are praying for a Christian mate for our son!

Laura MootsJanuary 12, 2014 - 3:11 pm

Love! This story is very similar to my own, and the blessed truth is still evidenced today. Thank you for sharing! Blessings… ~LM

bluecottonmemoryJanuary 13, 2014 - 11:04 am

I am trying to raise all these boys to be men like that – men or prayer – who see it all in the context of God! God opened my eyes to a husband like that:) We are blessed!

Jo Ann. ScottJanuary 14, 2014 - 12:43 am

After I divorced my husband, I felt that there was never going to be a man who would ever touch my heart again. 10 years later, after dating numerous men the previous 5, I knew I found” the one”.Les was not afraid to pray in public, and said grace with friends at dinner. God sent this amazing man to me! After traveling north to meet my Daddy and family, we drove back to New Orleans. Les called my Daddy and asked for my hand in marriage. Such old world charm. I was totally amazed for such old timers as he and I to have a beautiful life with God as our best friend.

Chloe of beyond blessed blogJanuary 14, 2014 - 4:01 pm

Oh my goodness this is beautiful! Just gave me goose bumps. God is so faithful. I have to agree, there is nothing more attractive than watching my husband get on his knees before the Lord and hearing him pray. Melts my heart every time. What a blessing!

Bethany Laventeli NolenJanuary 15, 2014 - 2:37 am

That is a very sweet story, I’m happy you found your special someone. However, I believe that just because a man prays does not make him good and just because a man doesn’t pray does not make him bad. My husband doesn’t pray. We don’t have a religion. And he is the most wonderful man, he is definitely my special someone. So it should be “Ladies marry a good man” no matter if he prays or not.. unless you are into that kind of thing.

Brenda Clark KelloggJanuary 15, 2014 - 1:52 pm

What an a inspirational story for all young females to read

Amanda Lynn DeLatteJanuary 15, 2014 - 2:16 pm

Amazing that I saw this! This is exactly what I’ve been praying for.

Julia Ann JamesJanuary 15, 2014 - 4:59 pm

This is exactly the kind of man I married

Linda SmithJanuary 16, 2014 - 3:53 am

I married a man like that, and we had 53 years together. He is now with the Lord. I praise the Lord for blessing me with a praying husband and praying father for our children and grandchildren.

StephanieMaria De Maria SoozJanuary 17, 2014 - 2:06 am

Wish everyone could read to this story… wow! itz a wonderful story…

Bobbi Lynne StarrJanuary 17, 2014 - 12:51 pm

Cissy Sanders this one made me think of you and me. :)

JulieFebruary 6, 2014 - 7:25 pm

Wow Lauren! This is beautiful, and so true. Thanks for sharing.

[…] I can feel when the Spirit is working through me, and I haven’t felt him for a while now. Ironically, I felt him leave after I posted a story about my husband praying. […]

Felicia AdkinsMarch 2, 2014 - 2:45 am

This beautiful post brought tears to my eyes. God is good.